MP SENSATIONALLY UNMASKED AS LIB-DEM

Brian Localbloke, the MP for the Cote de Westphalia, was today rocked by the news that he had been effectively banned from the Conservative Club in Eastphalia for what they would only describe as 'not being a Tory'. Mr Localbloke was fighting back the tears as he gave his version of events: 'Apparenty they heard a rumour that I was a Lib-Dem. They went on my website, and it didn't take them long to put two and two together and work the whole thing out. They soon realised that they'd been completely shafted at the last three elections. Of course I spend most of my free time in the Conservative Club, so this will have a huge impact on my social life.' When asked how long the ban was expected to last he said the secretary had said it was a lifetime ban, to which Mr Localbloke replied 'whose, yours or mine?'