WAITROSE IS JUST THE BOOST WE NEED

Amid all the doom and gloom at last comes a glimmer of hope. As town centre shops and businesses struggle in the current recession it is absolutely brilliant news that the name of a supermarket is changing. Yes, a name change and an increase in prices is exactly what the area needs to get it on its feet again. There may be loads and loads of empty shop units in the town centre, but there will be a Waitrose up the road. How fantastic is that? This is sending a message out to world that Westphalia-on-Sea is a thriving place where people want to spend more on groceries, even in a recession (unless you count the imminent closure of M & S, which would lead you to the opposite conclusion). Of course, there will be all the moaning minnies and benefit scroungers who will mourn the loss of a large cheap supermarket on their doorstep, but to them we send an uncompromising message: 'F*** off to Lidl with the rest of the scum, and hand in your milk vouchers there.'