VOCABULARY SHORTAGE PREDICTED

A report published today projects that the Westphalia Express could soon run out of words to describe anyone who has the temerity to point out the inherent madness in most of what Dr Pangloss says. This stark warning states that if the paper continues to use words such as 'snipers', 'critics', 'naysayers' and 'high priests and priestesses of negativity' at the current rate it will have completely exhausted its vocabulary supplies by 2009. However, the Editor was quick to robustly defend the paper's actions, saying: 'The people that have come up with this forecast are living in cloud cuckoo land. We have dictionaries, thesauruses, and a crack team of highly trained independent journalists who are constantly coming up with new ways to say the same old thing. In addition, we have root words such as 'cynic', which will generate other words such as 'cynical' and 'cynicism'. There is absolutely no truth in this shortage story - it is scaremongering of the worst kind and we will continue to repeat these words for as long as the mayor is in charge of everything.'