MAYORAL VISION NOT BOLD ENOUGH SHOCK

The Mayor has come in for criticism after it was revealed that the car park at the harbour could be used as a site for the architectural equivalent of Sydney Opera House. Born and bred Westphalian Jack Muttock said: 'It's ridiculous, we really should be setting our sights a lot higher. I think we should be aiming for something along the lines of the Taj Mahal if we can get the marble, or at the very least a couple of pyramids.' His friend Irene Dalloway added: 'I would rather have something taller, like an Eiffel Tower, or a BT tower. You could have a revolving fast food restaurant at the top and call it 'Pie in the Sky.'
Eastphalians were also concerned that they had been shortchanged in the plans. One man, who preferred to remain anonymous, said: 'With the influx of Polish Catholics I think we should not only be thinking 'Garden City', but also 'Garden Vatican City'. I think when the Pope sees what is happening in Eastphalia he will want to play a central role in the development. That renaissance architecture was all very well in its day, but it's looking a bit tired now. I think he would be blown away if he could see what I have in mind - lots of glass and steel, and probably Artex on the ceiling rather than a lot of fussy painting. It that were to happen I wouldn't mind renaming the place 'Vatican City'. Well, you've got to move with times, haven't you? And if it brings the tourists back so much the better.'