GRAND THEFT AUTO 4 TOO REALISTIC

Town Hall Consoles Ltd, a well-known manufacturer of computer games based in Westphalia-on-Sea, came under fire yesterday as it was claimed that their latest game, Grand Theft Auto 4, was too realistic and too dangerous. GTA4 comes hot on the heels of their last creation, NCP Contract, which was very scary and super expensive. Local mothers just about to take their GCSEs were quick to explain their concerns about this new offering: "In the game right, your character has to drive into town and find somewhere to park for free so he can go to work. But there ain't nowhere, see? So he drives around and around getting more and more frustrated, until he eventually just pulls over and starts smashing up parking meters and taking all the loose change. And then there are other characters who have to go into town to do some shopping, but they can't park neither. They just leave their car by the side of the road for a bit, but when they come back they've got a ticket, right? And they didn't even get what they wanted in the shops because most of the shops was already closed, yeah? So they say we ain't coming back to this town no more, but when they try and drive away they find the road system has all been changed and they can't get out. We just fink that is a really bad game, yeah, 'cos kids is gonna grow up finking life's like that, ain't they?"
A spokesman for Town Hall Consoles Ltd was quick to defend the game: "Look it's true that the game is set in a down-at-heel seaside resort where the characters wander around late night drinking and gambling dens and titty bars with police sirens constantly wailing in the background, but it is aimed at over-18s and people have to realise that this is just a game. You can't confuse this with real life. This is a purely fictional place. No one would want to create such a place, and no one would want to live there. Surely people realise that?"