Tuesday 1 July 2008
TWO MEN RESCUED FROM POTENTIAL CLIFF DISASTER
Two very important political lives were saved yesterday as journalists decided to bury any bad news about the former tourist attraction Wreck Walk. The men in question ordered the total distruction of the area, which will now be an eyesore for years to come. Deputy Mayor Ahmad Hatter explained 'Me and the Councillor For Unbelievable Cock-Ups really were in big trouble over that bloody cliff, but thankfully the Westphalia Express rescued us by not demanding any inquiry how the decisions were made. If any of them are reading this I really would like to say a big thank you.' Tonight we can report that both men, while feeling a little shaken by their ordeal, are both safely back in the Town Hall where they can continue to wreak havoc. (Surely 'continue with a well-thought out programme of inprovements for the town? Ed.)
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Unfortunately my letter wasn't published in The Herald Slow train:
Kevin Carroll certainly lives up to his Ahmad Hatter sobriquet here. Who will be in the least surprised when tender documents are returned with quotes of £1,490,000 on average? I would have thought Carroll, being a builder, would have remembered that the first rule of sales is to establish how much the punter expects to pay (£1.5million apparently in the case of The Mad Hatter).
With regard to fault, as the whole scenario of dislocated rock strata was wholly foreseeable, heads should roll. The barriers should have been put in place before work started and saved the necessity of road closure entirely and the design for the revitalised Rock Walk should have been already in place.
Altogether a complete shambles that there has been no apology for.
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