The Westphalia-on-Sea council was rocked today by the news that one of Dr Pangloss's men ploughed his car into a wall in the middle of the afternoon while in an 'advanced state of refreshment'. The driver, who cannot be named because he's far too insignificant, said 'they've got me bang to rights - I was out on the piss and got absolutely mullered'. Deputy Mayor Ahmad Hatter was quick to point out that the Conservatives do not condone driving high performance cars around town when 'mashed off your tits'. He added 'none of us is perfect and we make mistakes, and goodness knows we're going to make a lot more in the coming year, that's for sure.'
This is the most exciting local driving news since another local Conservative MP, Tarquin Pompous-Duffer, parked his car in a disabled bay at Newton Bumpkin station. When people questioned his behaviour on that occasion Mr Pompous-Duffer said: 'For God's sake, there are too many of these disabled bays, it's political correctness gone mad. I mean, when was the last time you saw a raspberry ripple on the train anyway? As a Conservative white male of advancing years it is my inalienable right to park where the bloody hell I like, and I won't have scum from council houses telling me otherwise.'
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4 comments:
Glad to see you are back on fizzing form....though Torbay hardly needs a satirist given the antics of its esteemed councillors...
Keep up the good work - it is much appreciated.
I thought most of them were in an "advanced state of rereshment" - otherwise how can we explain what's happening to our town ?
Brilliant piece of journalism.
At least one Piddlebackside local government office had to be driven home after reading this article suffering from an advanced state hilarity!
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